Infectious Control
by Lina Scriven
Summary: Something repulsive and undeniable. Slade/Terra.
1. Crush

**Guess who's back with a multiple chapter story? :) It's very different from what I've posted before, but I hope you still like it.**

* * *

Were crushes supposed to be nerve-racking? Before Slade, she wasn't capable of making relationships- much less romantic ones. All her mistakes and accidents kept her running so much that attaching to others was never an option. She hadn't even known Beast Boy long enough to decide if she would date him though they were fast friends.

She corrected her thoughts. She learned she could never date him when he told everyone her secret.

But now, here she was. It was the first time in a few years that she had somewhere to stay and she had stayed long enough to learn about the one other person she was living with. And somewhere along the polite greetings and endless training and short conversations, she had grown from being uneasy in fear to uneasy with butterflies.

He would walk by and she would dart her eyes in a constant confusion as to if she was gawking at him or avoiding him. He would readjust her stance in training and her heart would thump in her ears. He would talk about something, anything, and the stupid teenage voice in her head would rise up. _He's talking to me. Maybe he likes me._

But then he would walk away and she had to call bullshit on her hopeful thoughts.

If someone asked her why she had a crush on Slade, she wouldn't even have a good explanation. Besides the obvious changes in the way her heart raced or her stomach fluttered, there was no, "I like him because of this," or "I think he's great because of that." It was just there. It wasn't a decision or a progression. It sprung on her and she was stuck with it.

Liking your master who was decades older than you wasn't exactly an ideal situation, but the excitement that came with it was enough for her to wave off what was wrong about it. The adrenaline rushes and hope that she had never felt before was addicting and she embraced the high. During the day, she would let it fill her system on the subtle interactions, trying to push their conversations longer, trying to learn more about him. At night, she would toss and turn at what she was doing to her head. _He's not going to love you. He's not going to care about you like that. What do you have to give to him?_

She admitted to doing a lot of weak things. She considered this pining one of the worst.

And yet, well, here she was. Following him like a puppy, obeying all his rules, disobeying them when she wanted attention. He would never notice- she would die of embarrassment if he ever noticed- but it was enough. Attaching like this to someone like she never had before even if the feelings weren't shared. It was enough for someone as lonely as her.

* * *

Plans did not go accordingly and that made him more fret more than anything. The original outline of his ideas were basic and simple and impossible to stray from: (1) convince Terra to work for him, (2) train her enough that she could control her powers, (3) send her to spy on the Titans, and (4) annihilate the Titans. Complicated steps yes, but he knew that if he could manage it, the world would be in his hands.

Nothing had gone wrong. But what came to be of this plan made him fear the safety of the rest of it.

Step one was no problem, but that was when he barely knew Terra. When she was just a girl he watched destroy the world and meant nothing to him in terms of a person. But as step two started, he slowly came to realize that turning this girl into his weapon would take more control of his heart, not just his power. The subtle things she did: the way she darted her eyes, her fragile smile, the way she tried to initiate conversation without quite knowing what to say. At first it was annoying, but as time went on and she became a person instead of a killing machine, he learned to be interested in the way she was.

* * *

**Please review! I sort of have an idea as to where I'm going with this, but not a very solid one.**


	2. A Distorted Understanding of Emotions

**This is one of those things I write and wonder what I'm doing with my life. Also, I know my writing isn't as good in these. I'm just happy I'm getting words down at this point.**

**OH! And I don't own Teen Titans. Right. Forgot about that one.**

* * *

It started the way all relationships started: with an accidental display of affection that gave away their true feelings.

"You're done for the day," Slade said, casually putting his bostaff away.. Terra was kneeling on the floor, clutching her head from his last shot. The pain stung, but when he gave the call that their sparring was over, relief waved over her and she managed to look up at him.

Her eyes. There was something in her eyes. The way they managed to smile even though a bruise was forming around one. Before he could subdue the emotion, guilt panged somewhere in his heart.

"You're going to need ice," he said before he could stop himself. She caught the off comment and readjusted herself so she was sitting on the ground, still clutching the side of her head.

"You hit me _hard._"

"No one's going to hold back when you're actually in battle," she remained sitting on the concrete floor, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just need a minute," she stretched her legs out and leaned forward to stretch her body. She eyed him as he remained hovered over her, "I'm fine."

A month ago, Slade would have walked out of the room after he determined training was done. He would move to other plans and fine-tuning other weapons. However, today, he lingered. His eyes lingered. Just for an extra moment, locked looking at her eyes.

"I'll be okay," she repeated, her eyes narrowing at his, "Are _you _okay?"

The subtle question was enough for him to know that she was reading him, "Sorry," he muttered. _Lie. Quickly, _"Your eye is darkening as we speak."

"It's okay," she smiled, slowly getting up, "I'll go get ice for it," she strode out of the room, letting her grin bloom once her back was turned from him.

That night, they both didn't go to dinner. Slade did not leave his study, perched over his work. Terra spent all her time in her room, only leaving once to sneak crackers from the kitchen when she couldn't avoid her hunger anymore.

They avoided each other, but they were infesting each other's minds.

Terra lay on her bed, the melting ice pack resting on her swollen eye. The other eye was directed at the ceiling, but she saw much more than the white wall. Slade's face, the way it had concentrated on hers, was burned into her memory forever.

It meant something to her. Or, the very least, she wanted it to mean something.

_He's interested in me!_

_ Why would he have any interest in me?_

_ He wouldn't have any interest in me._

This circle of hope and doubt cycled through her mind for hours.

Slade was trying to read a message on his computer. After fifteen minutes of staring intently at the blaring screen, he blinked for a long time before scrolling back to the top and tried reading again.

Ten minutes later, he scrolled to the beginning again.

And again.

_I don't understand what this is about._

He nearly groaned out loud when he had to close the message without even grasping the concept. He started shuffling papers and putting them into folders to reorganize his thoughts. But even when the clutter was gone, his mind still raced.

_Why was she smiling?_

Broken. Lost. Possibly depressed. Those were traits he would use to explain Terra if he was asked. She was beyond repair and besides her powers; her personality flaws made her an ideal apprentice. He had already manipulated them once to get her on his side.

Broken and lost, so why was she smiling at him?

He shut off his desk light, but as he called it a night, his mind kept running.

When people got in his head, he only knew one way to deal with it. Keep them out.

It must have passed midnight. Terra's alarm clock would scream at 5:30 for her morning warm-up, but she still lay in her clothes and the light was blaring in her room. The ice pack was now sitting on the floor from when she rolled over and it slipped off her face. Her head was smashed against her pillow but her eyes were wide.

She had a choice. She could ignore it or she could go for it.

Slade's face was still stuck in her vision. She saw him without the mask, he kept it off a lot more than she ever assumed he would. Naturally, she didn't think he would be so…old…but somewhere along the way the markers of his age faded in her eyes.

_Gross,_ a voice somewhere in her mind judged in a whisper.

She could ignore her feelings for him. Or she could run with it and try to win him over.

His face was imprinted in her vision. His lingering look stuck in her head and haunted her all night.

_Winning him over could come with dire consequences_, a rational thought came from somewhere else in her mind.

But rationality wasn't her forte. She was going for it.

* * *

**Just assume this entire thing is going to be me rambling. You can review my rambling if you'd like.**


	3. Tell Me How to Get Your Attention

**I'm not even proofreading, what is wrong with me? I'm just proud I'm writing long things again.**

* * *

First step to showing you had a romantic interest was through flirting, right? That was what Terra was taught through the countless romantic comedies she had seen in her life: if you liked someone, you had to subtly show it through flawless, confident moves.

Terra knew she had no experience with flirting and if there was one thing Slade had taught her it was practice made perfect, so every day, after his required training, she made her own training for herself. Standing in front of her mirror, she would make herself recreate any flirting technique she remembered. Saying cute things, flipping her hair the right way, rolling her hips when she walked. She would create scenarios in her head where she could reach for his hand or his shoulder without it seeming awkward.

But after a week of trying and trying and trying, she realized that she couldn't say rehearsed lines without stumbling over the punchline. Her hair was too long and thick to control. She had no hips to roll. Whenever she thought she got the chance to touch him, she was too nervous. All she could imagine was his face slowly moving to her hand touching his and then to her face before asking what it was about.

She was supposed to be flirting. That was what her "training" was all about. But she recoiled whenever she had the chance and she would frown in the mirror every time she really noticed her gangly features and childish face. After a while, she just stopped trying and would just flop on her bed at night with a new kind of training.

_You don't like him. You don't like him. You don't like him._

This, by far, had the worst results. No matter how times she tried to shake the emotions, her heart still raced at the sight of him.

In the first month Terra lived with Slade, her training was solely composed of him trying to get her to control the sheer strength in her powers. He would make her lift heavy boulders, create tornados, and disassemble masses of trees. However, as she failed to complete these actions without losing control, he discovered her real flaws and changed her training accordingly. Now she was doing activities that made her learn how to focus her attention. Long lessons about hand-to-hand combat and meditation had significant results on her control.

One evening, they both decided to eat dinner at the same time. They bumped into each other at the table. On days when this happened, if she was feeling particularly self-conscious, she would look down as she brought her plate to her bedroom. This night, however, she sat across from him.

"How are you this evening?" he asked gently while eating.

"Okay," she replied shortly, drumming her fingers against the table. He looked at her hand and she stopped quickly, hiding it under the table, "Sorry," she muttered.

He did not reply.

As he ate, she sat there, looking at her food, "Are you okay?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she whispered. He did not ask anything else.

_Say something! _she scolded herself.

"Slade," she said, too abruptly. He looked up and her cheeks went red.

_Think of something to say, idiot! _The second of silence was too long.

"Um, how are you this evening?"

_Worth a shot. _The hand that was just fidgeting now clenched in her lap.

It was another lengthy second before his face transformed into the tiny hint of a smile.

After two weeks of sole hand-to-hand combat and meditation, Slade commanded she create a tornado. She wanted to argue her way out of it, but she obeyed the request. To her surprise, she could keep control of it for a much longer period of time than she had ever before.

She couldn't help but keep a proud smile on her face as she looked at him with puzzlement, "…How did that happen?"

"When one approach wasn't working, we found another that was more effective. Sometimes the most obvious approach is the best one to use."

* * *

**I think I have scared off all my readers by writing something Slerra. My writing is normally so innocent. ...oops**


End file.
